Ambiguous I say

I would die thousands of deaths till I live
They would not go until I die
No more shall I live with my head up
Up upon the Day

I called my self innocent
But no more was I same
This silt was slithering my body
I refuse to take this pain

Numb was all my heart
Forgetting to beat its beats
Lost in this world of betrayal
Asking for uprisal

I will leave this soil some day
What answer shall I pay
If I cry all my life
Even less would those tears be

Never would I be pure again
Ever I had that pain
Now shall I not be dead again
I have lost my name

Broken have I sold
Sold my pride
How come will I be alive
My pains are even dead

I lament the loss
What oneself is drown
Put me in the fire
I shall bear forever

Even that cost is too low
Call those on streets
See the traitor is taken
Let this pain increase

I incure a drop of death
With single call of past
Harsh would my mind be
Heart has now no say

Wind would blow off the barren land
left are only the debris
The emotions too have lost
Frozen to the death

Cage me to castigate
I would not utter a word
This too is no way
How shall I repent

Wailing through my life
No far would I go
Booked for my sins
I too can't forgive

When awake I got in the slumber
Echoed the sound in that murmur
My deeds are calling for the answer
Despair I cuddle the soul of thunder

Have I met the black always?
I was never for white
Colours too are mere illusion
Now I hate them all!